How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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