Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
