this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
