I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I looked at my own cervix.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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