I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
