I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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