It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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