why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
