Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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