I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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