so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
