Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
