He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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