Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
