i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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