its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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