I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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