Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
