worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
