when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
