If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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