youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
