just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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