she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
