I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
