Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
