nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
