im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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