normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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