just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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