yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
