The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
