out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize