Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
