HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
