It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize