just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
