And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
