....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
