does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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