Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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