ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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