They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
