then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
