do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
