I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
