yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
