She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
