Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.