Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven