found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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