They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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