Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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