these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize