i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize