girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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