my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
