thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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