So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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